#2 Thought: I Knew I Loved You

Malam ini, saya sedang mengerjakan tugas sambil mendengarkan sebuah lagu yaitu "I knew I Loved You" dari Savage Garden. Sebenarnya tidak ada yang momen khusus untuk secara sengaja mendengarkan lagu tersebut. It has just came up on my random playlist then here i am having a flashback memory. Lagu ini seperti mengingatkan saya kembali, bahwa kalau kita mau menggambarkan seperti apa cinta orang tua, apalagi ibu, ke anaknya. Sebesar apa cinta mereka. Kira-kira makna lagunya seperti ini. 

#1 Thoughts

The only thing i love about Jakarta: the skycrappers.

Is it weird that there is still something i love about this city? I know, not every person has their reason that they could be remember about Jakarta. Most of people might be going to give up everything just to get out of the town. Some of them might be have no choice. But, there are people who still have other reason to love Jakarta

I know, Jakarta could be so mean. Could be so boring, for few people. Even could be so annoying, making so many hatred feeling in some of us with all of conflicts hapeened there. Not to mention the traffic. Streets are always crowded, full of cars, public transportaions, motorcycles, or people who are walking on the sideways. I hate going everywhere in that city. I hate traffic in Jakarta, too. But, i still have something that i can love from Jakarta.

I like walking on sidewalks in Jakarta. I enjoy it. I enjoy meeting people who also walking in the street. I like standing for long times in busway (although, i hate it because it will take a long time to get our destinantions). And paying attention of some people in there. Making some thoughts that guessing what their life could be. I enjoy going out in nights, when all of those buildings turn on all of their lights that they have. I enjoy watching people feel tired in public transportation, question in their head, "when can i get home, seeing my wife and children?" I know, some of you that have live in Jakarta for years, forever, could laugh at me and think "Are you sure? why don't we just switch? I am at your city, and you live in Jakarta. 'Cause i can guarantee that you can't overcome yourself living in Jakarta? There's no one can stand for Jakarta. Ha..ha..ha.." Right? :)

I actually care about that thought, if there's someone actually thought of that. But, everytime i visit Jakarta, most of reasons are business trip (thank God..hehe :)), i always have the same feeling. I've been working for (only) 4 years, have had visited Jakarta for many times, but i still fall for Jakarta and its city view. 

Being in between in those skycrappers, makes me realize something about loving this city. Those skycrappers are making me so small that i can not any reasons to feel bigger than i am now. Everytime. I always feel that there are so many things bigger things in my life than i am. That making me can not have excuse feel greater than anyone else, than anything else. 

Being in those skycrappers, makes me think that i am part of something big which God has planned. Making me feel that although i am small, still every one of those big moments, big events of my life, myself have part of it. My desicions, my efforts, my thoughts, and my feeling. All of those moments, huge or little, my failure or my successful, happened because of my part in my own life. With God's help, of course. That's why i have never complain for anything bad that happened to me. Or i have never been so over-proud of everyhing good that also happened. God plans my life perfectly. But, i also not a chess-pion. Myself has part of it. 

Being in Jakarta, always makes me having so many evaluation, correction of my life. I pause of my life for a second. What am i chasing for? Am i still the person after all this time? Am i still on my track? What plan does God have planned for me? Because you are in between something bigger than Jakarta. Something bigger than i can imagine. You have big purposes of life that you might be forget about. And Jakarta is kind of reminder for me. Reminder that although this life is bigger than myself, and i still have part of it.