#2 Thought: I Knew I Loved You

Malam ini, saya sedang mengerjakan tugas sambil mendengarkan sebuah lagu yaitu "I knew I Loved You" dari Savage Garden. Sebenarnya tidak ada yang momen khusus untuk secara sengaja mendengarkan lagu tersebut. It has just came up on my random playlist then here i am having a flashback memory. Lagu ini seperti mengingatkan saya kembali, bahwa kalau kita mau menggambarkan seperti apa cinta orang tua, apalagi ibu, ke anaknya. Sebesar apa cinta mereka. Kira-kira makna lagunya seperti ini. 

Maybe it's intuition

But some things you just don't question

Like in your eyes, I see my future in an instant

And there it goes,

I think I found my best friend

I know that it might sound

More than a little crazy

But I believe

I knew I loved you before I met you

I think I dreamed you into life

I knew I loved you before I met you

I have been waiting all my life

There's just no rhyme or reason

Only the sense of completion

And in your eyes, I see

The missing pieces I'm searching for

I think I've found my way home

I know that it might sound

More than a little crazy

But I believe

I knew I loved you before I met you

I think I dreamed you into life

I knew I loved you before I met you

I have been waiting all my life

A thousand angels dance around you

I am complete now that I've found you

(by Savage Garden)

Kebayang gak? Dulu, waktu jaman saya telah melahirkan, saya dan Al sedang melewati minggu-minggu pertama kami. Our hard weeks. Waktu itu saya sempat baby blues, sangat lelah. Tenaga dan fikiran saya terkuras dan tercurahkan kepada Al. Sibuk memikirkan bagaimana anak ini bisa ASI, bisa kenyang, dan bisa hidup. I was very young, walaupun sekarang masih muda juga sih. Tapi keadaan waktu itu sangat berbeda dengan sekarang. I was very young, very emotional. Sampai waktu itu, saya gak mau dekat-dekat bayi saya dulu. I needed space.

So, in that time, i had my me-time, listened this song. And then, that's the moment that i knew i actually loved my baby before i met him. I remembered when i found out that i am pregnant. I was scared, but i was also happy. I knew i loved him when he was only size of a seed. I had morning sickness without complaining. I took care him when he grew inside my belly. And then, i delivered him through c-section. Alone. Mempertaruhkan nyawa ku demi seorang manusia kecil yang tidak berdosa. I knew i loved him.

Malam ini, saya serasa flashback lagi ke memori saat minggu-minggu pertama kami sebagai orang tua. Sekalipun dengan lagu ini, kayaknya tidak bisa menggambarkan seperti apa cinta seorang ibu ke anaknya. Terlalu rumit. 

Jadi, jangan heran kalau ada ibu yang protektif, atau bahkan sebenarnya terlihat tidak peduli. You don't know their love. What they have been through. Cinta mereka bisa aja berbeda secara visual. Tapi, cinta punya berbagai bentuk. What i want to say is: Love is love. People can not judge. And mothers will always be a mother. They will do everything to make their children safe, and happy. And once more, no one can not interfere it. 

Titik.